Management Lessons

MANAGEMENT LESSONS


CASE 1:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you
and do nothing all day long?
The crow answered: "Sure, why not." so, the rabbit sat on the ground
below the crow, and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Learning:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

CASE 2:

A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the
turkey,
"but I haven't got the energy.
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of
the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out
of the tree.

Management Learning:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

CASE 3:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird
froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize
how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy,
and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Management Learning:

1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

CASE 4:

The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked.
As they went along, they passed some people who remarked "it was a shame
the old man was walking and the boy was riding".
The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed
positions.
Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that
little boy walk."
They decide d they both would walk!
Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk
when they had a decent donkey to ride.
So the both rode the donkey! Now they passed some people that shamed them
by saying "how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey".
The boy and man said they were probably right so they decided to carry the
donkey.
As they crossed a bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell
into the river and drowned.

Management Learning:

If you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ass

CASE 5:

Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were
travelling in an autorickshaw.
They met with an accident and all three of them died. Yama was waiting for
this moment at the doorstep of death.
He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN. But, for Laloo, Yama had already
decided that he should be sent to HELL.
Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yama as to why this
discrimination is being made.
All the three of them had served the public.
Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. Then why
the differential treatment?
He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation
before a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre
conceived notions.
Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an
English test.
PVNR is asked to spell "INDIA" and he does it correctly.
Advani is asked to spell "ENGLAND" and he too passes.
It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell "CZECHOSLOVAKIA".
Laloo protests that he doesn't know English. He says this is not fair and
hat he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false
intent.
Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another
chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide
an equal platform for all three).
PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily and
passes.
Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes.
Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR....."
Tough one. He fails again. Laloo is extremely unhappy.
Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't), he now
requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history.
Yama says 'OK', but this would be the last chance and that he would not
take any more tests.
PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence?".
He replied "1947" and passed.
Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?".
He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or
200,000 or 300,000.
Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.
It's Laloo's turn now. Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each
of the 200,000 who died in the struggle.
Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.

Management Lesson:
"IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS JUST NO ESCAPE"

CASE 6 :

The secret is finally revealed:
On the first day God created the cow.
God said, "You must go to field with the farmer all day long and suffer
under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give
you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty
years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty."
And God agreed.

On the second day, God created the dog.
God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who
comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll
give back the other ten."
So God agreed (sigh).

On the third day God created the monkey.
God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give
you a twenty year life span."
Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so.
Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man.
God said, "Eat, sleep, play, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy.
I'll give you twenty years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way, man. Tell you what, I'll take
my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the
ten monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."

Management Lesson:
So that is why
for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, enjoy, and do nothing;
for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family;
for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren;
and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.